3 Things.
Thing 1- Moving across the country has presented more challenges that I imagined it would.
Thing 2- I am super- like, crying several times a day- messy.
Thing 3- I'm ok with all of that.
Not sure why I thought that packing up our home and moving to Florida was going to be all gum drops and pony rides, because I definitely thought that, and it definitely hasn't been. Yup, theres thing number 1. Imagine me- cape, mountain top, wind blowing, hands on hips... super woman. Thats the image I have of myself when faced with a challenge. Whats real? Me- yoga pants, tears, spontaneous bursts of LOUD laughter, hands in the wrapper of a chocolate bar, thinking of (literally) one million things to write down so I remember them...
The challenges are in the tiny things. Those everyday- regular life- moments. Where's the litter box gonna go? Who's gonna park in the garage? Whats my address again? Wait, who are you? (I know, this is the 3rd time we've met... sorry). Oh, and that other small piece of the puzzle... my own set of expectations that, duh, everyone is super clear about........
Sarcasm aside- shits getting real. It was easy for me to imagine and, yes, even coach other people around what it means to UNlearn the things we think we know. To be open and create some space in life for new things to take shape. To be ok with not having any answers to the questions that we try to prepare for. Then real life starts to happen.
Insert thing 2. Messiness. This is actually something I am grateful for. A quality that takes more practice than it would seem. Being ok with crying in front of strangers and talking through the mess that is my brain-space right now- it doesn't exactly come as a default mode of being for me. Yet, I cant imagine what it would feel like to hold it all in and MAN the people I've met here have been great to me. They listen. I cry. They pass the tissue. I laugh LOUDLY. Then I cry harder. And then, when its all out, something magical happens- my mind becomes quiet.
Thats when thing 3 surfaces. In that small fraction of a second of internal silence I remember who I am and why I am here. And as few and far between as those moments are right now- thats how I know that Im exactly where I need to be. What follows the silence is more internal chatter. Fast, fleeting, ferocious. Yet, in the moments right after the silence, the chatter is significantly less judgmental. Its more open. More aware. More encouraging.
The cycle of these three things repeats several times a day and without warning. Its the only routine I've developed in this new place. Challenge, mess, silence.
If you are reading this- you have been witness to part of the wake after the silence.
xo,
Brandie
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Make Some Big Jumps
What is life really all about? This question used to plague me... keep me up at night... Every decision I made was followed by this, or a version of this, question.
I cannot be so bold as to declare that I have discovered the meaning of life or existence but I can declare that its days like today that make me feel like I am on the right track. In my experience, which cannot be slighted just because of my age... I have challenged myself in many ways that would make a grown man quiver... I have come to realize that life is really about making "big jumps." Taking those things that you "believe in" and deciding that your belief is an extension of your faith. Then assigning that faith to your life as the ultimate, most decisive presence in your life. I am not just talking about faith in yourself... the "I can do anything you can do better" attitude, but rather, the guidance that allows you to take risks that others wouldn't. Faith that exists regardless of your religious or spiritual beliefs. The simple idea that everything that you will ever need to support yourself exists in you already. For the first time in my life I feel as if I have tapped into that type of faith.
As I sit here in an Ann Arbor hotel restaurant on my first day of training I can't help but reflect on the choices I've made to get to this point in my life. Going against the grain. Putting financial responsibility on my wonderful husband while I try to rediscover myself. I have started so many new endeavors in the past 5 years just to turn around and quit them... Not because I don't have persistence but because I have always challenged myself to refuse meritocracy. I never wanted to be "good" at things... feel "good" about my career... As a young girl and young woman all I ever wanted was to be famous... not in a Hollywood way, but in a way that would make a difference in the lives of people around me. Little did I know that I was already doing so just by taking the risks that I did... job after job, class after class... until I found that one thing that had been calling to me all along. This type of example goes without words. This is exactly what I hope to inspire in my team as I become integrated into the Lululemon culture and the yoga community in Grand Rapids.
Don't settle.
I can remember the words of my father as I cried to him one day... telling him how unhappy I was in my job. Hearing his response saddened me further. I was sad to hear my wonderful, talented, smart father admit that he had fallen victim to the idea that "everyone feels this way in their jobs" and that "sticking it out for seniority" is accepted as a way of life.
It lit a fire in my soul. I refuse to contribute to that way of thinking. There are way too many happy people out there doing what they love for me to accept that I was, or that anyone else is, one of the unfortunate ones who had to comply with the system because "thats how life works." I set my intentions with absolutely no idea where it would take me.
I hope that this is something that I can encourage others to do.
Let go.
Let go of all the things that make you dread waking up in the morning. That shitty job. That friend that makes you feel bad about yourself in the most endearing way. The routine that you promised yourself that you would never fall into. Let go of all of those things that distract you from what truly makes you tick... even if you don't know what it is yet. Create a new you. Have faith that it IS the right decision. Yes, things will change. You might have to live differently than you ever did before... but thats the point, isn't it? You might have to let go of the things you thought you "knew" about yourself. You will feel uncomfortable. Exposed. Come out of hiding. Find the passion that you had before you decided that responsibility was more important than goals and happiness. Your happiness IS your most important responsibility. Accept yourself for the things that you feel are faulty and know that nothing exists for nothing. Accept that you may have come a long way doing things in the way that you are now... and that its ok to separate from those things if they are no longer serving you. We all have a purpose and we are all inclined to live it. To quote my companies manifesto, "do one thing a day that scares you."While your at it... do it with love. Appreciate yourself for having done nothing more than given it a shot. Begin to do that and you will begin to accept those things in others around you and discover real compassion. When you discover real compassion it will be returned to you in so many ways unimaginable ways.
I digress...
"What comes from the heart goes to the heart," so it might as well mean something to you.
This is what I have discovered. There is no risk that isn't worth taking.
Jump.
High 5's, Breath & Namaste,
Brandie
I cannot be so bold as to declare that I have discovered the meaning of life or existence but I can declare that its days like today that make me feel like I am on the right track. In my experience, which cannot be slighted just because of my age... I have challenged myself in many ways that would make a grown man quiver... I have come to realize that life is really about making "big jumps." Taking those things that you "believe in" and deciding that your belief is an extension of your faith. Then assigning that faith to your life as the ultimate, most decisive presence in your life. I am not just talking about faith in yourself... the "I can do anything you can do better" attitude, but rather, the guidance that allows you to take risks that others wouldn't. Faith that exists regardless of your religious or spiritual beliefs. The simple idea that everything that you will ever need to support yourself exists in you already. For the first time in my life I feel as if I have tapped into that type of faith.
As I sit here in an Ann Arbor hotel restaurant on my first day of training I can't help but reflect on the choices I've made to get to this point in my life. Going against the grain. Putting financial responsibility on my wonderful husband while I try to rediscover myself. I have started so many new endeavors in the past 5 years just to turn around and quit them... Not because I don't have persistence but because I have always challenged myself to refuse meritocracy. I never wanted to be "good" at things... feel "good" about my career... As a young girl and young woman all I ever wanted was to be famous... not in a Hollywood way, but in a way that would make a difference in the lives of people around me. Little did I know that I was already doing so just by taking the risks that I did... job after job, class after class... until I found that one thing that had been calling to me all along. This type of example goes without words. This is exactly what I hope to inspire in my team as I become integrated into the Lululemon culture and the yoga community in Grand Rapids.
Don't settle.
I can remember the words of my father as I cried to him one day... telling him how unhappy I was in my job. Hearing his response saddened me further. I was sad to hear my wonderful, talented, smart father admit that he had fallen victim to the idea that "everyone feels this way in their jobs" and that "sticking it out for seniority" is accepted as a way of life.
It lit a fire in my soul. I refuse to contribute to that way of thinking. There are way too many happy people out there doing what they love for me to accept that I was, or that anyone else is, one of the unfortunate ones who had to comply with the system because "thats how life works." I set my intentions with absolutely no idea where it would take me.
I hope that this is something that I can encourage others to do.
Let go.
Let go of all the things that make you dread waking up in the morning. That shitty job. That friend that makes you feel bad about yourself in the most endearing way. The routine that you promised yourself that you would never fall into. Let go of all of those things that distract you from what truly makes you tick... even if you don't know what it is yet. Create a new you. Have faith that it IS the right decision. Yes, things will change. You might have to live differently than you ever did before... but thats the point, isn't it? You might have to let go of the things you thought you "knew" about yourself. You will feel uncomfortable. Exposed. Come out of hiding. Find the passion that you had before you decided that responsibility was more important than goals and happiness. Your happiness IS your most important responsibility. Accept yourself for the things that you feel are faulty and know that nothing exists for nothing. Accept that you may have come a long way doing things in the way that you are now... and that its ok to separate from those things if they are no longer serving you. We all have a purpose and we are all inclined to live it. To quote my companies manifesto, "do one thing a day that scares you."While your at it... do it with love. Appreciate yourself for having done nothing more than given it a shot. Begin to do that and you will begin to accept those things in others around you and discover real compassion. When you discover real compassion it will be returned to you in so many ways unimaginable ways.
I digress...
"What comes from the heart goes to the heart," so it might as well mean something to you.
This is what I have discovered. There is no risk that isn't worth taking.
Jump.
High 5's, Breath & Namaste,
Brandie
Sunday, January 1, 2012
The Name of the Game is New
New Year. New Career. New MacBook Pro. Yup, I took the plunge and got a MacBook and I LOVE it. If you happen to be reading this (which is doubtful) don't expect me to break out into a tech talk because I couldn't tell you the first thing about the pro's/con's of the operating software... but I mention it more-so discuss the reason for which I decided to get it.
I begin my role with Lululemon Athletica in 2 days and I couldn't be more excited! I spoke to my regional manager a few days ago to get the scoop on the upcoming month and, honestly, things are going to be so different for Mark and I. The plan thus far is to get my training underway and I will be traveling 3 weeks out of the month which is something that I've never had the opportunity to experience in any of my other professional endeavors. I feel so blessed to have finally found a fit that works for me and encourages me to learn, travel, and help others grow. I will have so much time to update my friends and family who may have stumbled onto this blog in the weeks to come while I'm in route to my destinations. For now, its late and movie night is calling my name!
I begin my role with Lululemon Athletica in 2 days and I couldn't be more excited! I spoke to my regional manager a few days ago to get the scoop on the upcoming month and, honestly, things are going to be so different for Mark and I. The plan thus far is to get my training underway and I will be traveling 3 weeks out of the month which is something that I've never had the opportunity to experience in any of my other professional endeavors. I feel so blessed to have finally found a fit that works for me and encourages me to learn, travel, and help others grow. I will have so much time to update my friends and family who may have stumbled onto this blog in the weeks to come while I'm in route to my destinations. For now, its late and movie night is calling my name!
Monday, December 5, 2011
Balance means More...
Than standing on one leg without toppling over... Although, I commend anyone who can or has the heart to try. At an Ayurveda workshop this weekend I was told something that I feel is very significant to me at this time in life.
When I quit my sales job 4 months ago to pursue becoming a yoga teacher I knew that change was on the horizon. What I didn't know was just how much I was bound to transform in such a short period of time. Throughout this experience I have not only been learning yoga, but a whole new language (Sanskrit), a new spiritual connection, new information about food, spices, oils, beauty products, anatomy, alignment, adjustments, massage, ethics... The realm of "yoga teacher" is so much more than the asanas (the poses). I have had to stop myself several times and remind myself to breathe. Let it sink in. Give the brain and body time to process... My determination for learning all of these new things has, at times, left me feeling a bit inadequate. Feeling as though I could be studying harder, learning faster, practicing longer... Resolve, resolve, resolve. This small piece of wisdom couldn't have come at a better time for me.
For me, finding the balance between my resolve and compassion doesn't come easy. I am my very hardest critic. I believe, however, that moving forward and being able to integrate this into my life will only make me a better teacher. Give me the knowledge and personal experience to empathize with my future students who may feel similarly to myself at this phase of my training.
High- 5's, Breath & Namaste,
Brandie
"Find the balance between resolve and compassion."
For me, finding the balance between my resolve and compassion doesn't come easy. I am my very hardest critic. I believe, however, that moving forward and being able to integrate this into my life will only make me a better teacher. Give me the knowledge and personal experience to empathize with my future students who may feel similarly to myself at this phase of my training.
High- 5's, Breath & Namaste,
Brandie
Friday, December 2, 2011
Soy Eggnog Cheesecake
1 part boredom and 2 parts curiosity led me to take a shot at baking this gem tonight. I've never baked a cheesecake before and note the "soy." When I began on my yoga journey I was, to put it one way, a meaty-saurous. The first yama or limb of yoga, however, is "ahimsa." Loosely translated it means "do no harm." This pertains to humans and animals so I have taken the beginning steps towards living a vegetarian lifestyle which includes making an effort to eliminate all animal products. It's a process but I am always trying new things so I find it exciting and beneficial to my health. Thursday, December 1, 2011
Blogging is for Bloggers...
And I suppose that this post would now make me a blogger. I don't know what motivated me to finally jump on the bandwagon but if I had to guess I would say it was sheer curiosity. I see a lot of success stories coming from people who say things like: "5 years ago I didn't know what turn my life was going to take as I clicked the publish button." I figure, hey, I'm a writer... kind of. I've had a lot of interesting things happen in my life... maybe I should just start writing it out. If for no one else than just myself. A reflection tool. I don't strive to be someone who only writes about their daily lives... but I guess I'll see where the keyboard takes me.
I chose the blog name GoYogaNevitable because it speaks to me.
Go: because I believe that the best way to live is actively. Don't settle, don't get stagnant, keep moving, keep learning... don't know where to start? Just let your imagination go there and then GO!
Yoga: because yoga has inspired me to forget about all the past, present and future illusions I had about who "I am" and challenged me to still my heart and my intentions in an effort to discover what my true Self and purpose really is. The moment I stopped doing things that didn't serve me and submerged my life in yoga I became the happiest I've ever been.
Nevitable: for all the things in life that have been, are and will continue to be inevitable.
I feel that my blogs will consist of the above 3 ideas, mostly. Things that make me tick, things that yoga has inspired me to share and all the things that happen inevitably.
High 5's- Breath & Namaste,
Brandie
I chose the blog name GoYogaNevitable because it speaks to me.
Go: because I believe that the best way to live is actively. Don't settle, don't get stagnant, keep moving, keep learning... don't know where to start? Just let your imagination go there and then GO!
Yoga: because yoga has inspired me to forget about all the past, present and future illusions I had about who "I am" and challenged me to still my heart and my intentions in an effort to discover what my true Self and purpose really is. The moment I stopped doing things that didn't serve me and submerged my life in yoga I became the happiest I've ever been.
Nevitable: for all the things in life that have been, are and will continue to be inevitable.
I feel that my blogs will consist of the above 3 ideas, mostly. Things that make me tick, things that yoga has inspired me to share and all the things that happen inevitably.
High 5's- Breath & Namaste,
Brandie
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